Our Love Languages

Helloooooo.

It’s been a minute since I’ve been on here! My goal for posting once/week clearly died. Whoops. The post this week is a bit long, but I have a lot to say (shocker).

As I write this, I am sitting in a field overlooking the Shenandoah Valley, and am forced to be still and just sit (while I work, of course). Although sitting and just being is not something I do often. I am grateful when I get rare opportunities to do what I love, relax, and get paid for it. Knowing there wouldn’t be much traffic in ticket sales for this event (the majority were pre-purchased online), I have my books in-hand, ready to read. I can’t remember the last time I read for pure enjoyment.

Side note: You can check out my current reading material on Good Reads here! Uh, this site is amazing, and how have I never heard about it before recently? Add me and we’ll be friends 🙂 Patience please, while I work on populating/reviewing past books I’ve read.

Sam is leaving me for Alaska in a few weeks for the ultimate bro trip with his dad. SO FUN. I wish I were going! Not because I want to go fishing for 5 days in the wilderness (although I do), but mainly because Sam won’t document the trip with photo and video footage like I would. I’ll admit, he’s gotten 110% better than he used to be. I mean, he’s learned to use a downward angle with an iPhone when we take a selfie so that we don’t look fat, so I’ll give credit where credit is due. This is a once in a lifetime father/son trip, so I’m sending him fully equipped with the Nikon waterproof camera and the GoPro.

Sam – If you’re reading this, YOU BETTER TAKE ALL OF THE VIDEO FOOTAGE!

I appreciate the relationship that my father-in-law and my husband have. It’s sweet. His dad calls him every week to check in, and given that his parents live so far north, I am super excited that the Lord has made it possible for this trip to happen! Sam has been waiting to go to Alaska since I met him. When we were debating on locations for our Honeymoon, I can’t even tell you how many times he threw in an Alaskan cruise, to which my response was, “but I want to be warm, in the Caribbean, drinking drinks with umbrella straws, while sitting at the pool and beaches all day. So, maybe I’ll get him a cake that says “Alaska or Bust” before he goes to celebrate!

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Have you ever heard of the Love Languages quiz? I’ve always wanted to take it, but Sam has always had mixed feelings about it. Many pastors incorporate the book and the quiz into their marriage counseling, and I’ve had a lot of friends who have just taken it for fun. Basically, you take the quiz to determine how each individual receives (or desires to receive) love as a basis for making sure your spouse feels appreciated in the relationship. These are your options:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts of service
  5. Physical touch

I know the premise of the book because I’ve read the singles version and have talked to friends who have explained theirs to me, and how accurate they were – I just hadn’t taken the quiz myself. I’ve always wondered what mine would be, and tried to peg myself based on what I like and don’t like (or think that I like and don’t like). I’ve always assumed from reading the descriptions, that my love language would be Words of Affirmation. I like hearing that I’m appreciated, and that Sam loves me. I’ll be honest, when I don’t hear them often, I start to think that something is wrong, or that he’s mad or irritated. Additionally, I’ve always assumed that Sam’s love language would be Quality Time. We have polar opposite interests and hobbies. Practically none of them are the same. For example, he likes beer (which I hate), I love wine (which he hates). He loves sports, I love shopping for hours on end to scout out good deals. I like activities outside of the house, he prefers to stay in and chill. I like to talk, he likes to listen.  He likes to cook and grill our meals, I prefer to eat out. You get the point.

This week was the week! It only took 8 years, geez. He finally agreed to take the quiz while we were on our evening walk. Full disclosure: I was wrong about both of our love languages. After a series of weird and similar questions, we discovered that although I love hearing Sam tell me nice things, my love language is actually Quality Time.

Sam hates wine, but if he were to tell me that he would sacrifice a free evening to go to my favorite winery, I would definitely feel the love and accept that sacrifice as a nice change to the usual brewery visit. And, although I thought Sam’s love language would have been quality time, it was actually Acts of Service. Making him dinner although I hate to cook, taking care of the normal laundry-list of to-do’s that I give him during a busy work-week, and offering to share some of the work on his regular plate are things that I don’t help with as much as I could!

I know it’s just a quiz. I’m not basing my marriage off of this or anything. However, if there is anything that I’ve learned this past year, it’s been to grow with your spouse as they grow. I never want to become so comfortable in our marriage that I’ve stopped learning more about Sam, studying who he is, his new hobbies and interests every year (because they change a LOT). Our personalities weren’t what they were 8 years ago in college – thank God! You can check out the quiz here – let me know what yours is!

In other news, we bought a new entertainment center on Let Go (I was skeptical) for the basement, and it went something like this. We didn’t have enough room in the truck for all of the pieces, but thankfully found enough bungee cords. We broke 2 of the 4 glass shelves because we’re not professional movers, and busted a knob off of one of the doors, which popped right back on. HAHA. But hey, we were spending quality time together, so I guess I can’t complain.

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